"Andy's too young, Ogden." Annemarie looks steadily at her husband. "That baseball bat is bad enough but giving the girl a firearm is crazy."

Ogden usually gives in when his wife uses that tone, but now Andrea witnesses something unusual. The man she looks up to slams his palm on the table so hard that his coffee mug jumps. "Annemarie! We already discussed this. You should know better. You should understand that I would never have come to this decision if I didn't know for a fact that it is necessary. Both girls are going to learn to shoot. Of course, Emma doesn't need a weapon yet since she doesn't go out alone, but that's not the case with Andy. She'll be part of the guard schedule starting next week, and she's better than most others here when it comes to combat techniques and marksmanship. Have you already forgotten that she shot the two hares we ate yesterday?"

"A hunting rifle used for survival is very different." Annemarie presses her lips into a thin line. "A handgun, a pistol, that's something meant to be directed against another human being."

"It is. And she needs a weapon for her survival. That and a bulletproof vest."

"Oh my God." Annemarie, who had leaned forward to look her husband deep in the eyes, now slumps back in the kitchen chair. Several of the others have now entered the kitchen and are watching the scene where Andrea sits quietly on a chair and two agitated grownups are engaged in a loud discussion. "Bulletproof vests? Are we all going to wear those now?" Now she looks more confused than angry.

"Yes, we are. That's our next raid, to go to Remerton to get weapons and vests. That means we're taking the truck and the motorcycle there." Ogden lists those who are going on the raid. Andrea is one of the seven.

As she goes with Emma up to the attic, something she does every night since the girl she sees as her little sister has trouble falling asleep without Andrea's presence, she wonders how Ogden and Annemarie can see the world so differently. Ogden is prosaic, can even be harsh, while Annemarie seems to believe that the world will return to what it was if she just wishes on it hard enough. For Andrea, it is beyond doubt that the world, and the survivors, will never be the same as before the birds. Everyone carries emotional, and some also physical, wounds. They have all buried a loved one, usually several. The thought of her mother's body in the beautiful, fluffy rug on the balcony makes her shiver.

"Andy?" Emma looks at her with big eyes. "Is something wrong? Don't you want to go with Ogden tomorrow?"

Andrea shakes her head and lies down next to the petite seven-year-old on the homemade bed. They no longer have their mattresses on the floor but a few decimeters up on some frames that Ogden and Lou-Lou have built from boards that came from some old pallets. "No, no. That’s not it. Not at all. I know you get a little nervous when Ogden and I go scavenging, but you should know that we’re very careful and meticulous about safety. You're safe here with Annemarie, the others, and Zantana, of course."

"That's not it. You looked sad just now." Emma lies on her side and presses her small pointy chin against Andrea's shoulder. "Were you thinking about something?"

"Yes, I was. I was thinking about my mom."

Emma nods. "I get that. I was thinking about Mom too. But it's hard. I've gotten used to living here. Maybe I'll go by Shillings Creek and find Grandma and Grandpa one day, but I live here now." She looks uncertainly at Andrea. "Is that wrong? Should we go to Grandma and Grandpa instead? Like we planned? I mean…leave?"

"No," Andrea answers firmly. "I think Ogden's growing community is great for you. For me too, but I'm older and must be able to take care of myself. Annemarie loves you. Ogden does too. You're like their real child."

Emma tilts her head back and wrinkles her forehead. "But they love you too."

"Ogden likes me, I can tell. Annemarie has started to think I'm not too wild and unruly, I guess, but for her, there's only you."

"And who do you love, Andy?" Emma lowers her voice as if she's afraid of the answer.

"It should be quite obvious, little goose. I love you. And Theo. And Ogden. Then I like most of the other people here at the camp, of course. And just as Annemarie likes me better, I'm care about her too."

"She worries. A lot. And sometimes she cries. Just like that." Emma snaps her fingers, a silent snap so far, even though she has diligently practiced this, and whistling, for the past few weeks.

"I know. But I think she seems a little happier since we brought her all the books we found for her at the library. She likes to read." Andrea pulls Emma closer. Emma lays her head on her shoulder. Andrea shuts her eyes tightly. She doesn't like to think about the library and what happened there.

"I think so too." Emma's voice becomes sleepier with each word. She has had trouble falling asleep ever since the men broke in on Christmas Eve and cut her face. Not even Annemarie can lull her to sleep as well as Andrea can. What happens if Andrea must go on a mission that takes longer than their shorter raids? Eventually, the nearest supplies will run out, and they will be forced to go farther and farther away. Andrea hopes that Emma will regain her sense of security over time.

Andrea feels Emma dozing off where she lies in her arms. She herself had planned to go down and train a little with Zantana but realizes that she is probably better served by getting proper sleep before the raid tomorrow. She hugs Emma and settles down so that she is between the girl and the trapdoor. If Emma wakes up in the middle of the night, she will feel extra protected.

As proof of how tired Andrea is, she falls asleep and, in her dreams, it feels like she is floating through cool clouds on her way to space. Satellites pass her by, and she stretches out her arms. It is so easy to float, and she takes swim strokes with her arms, which propels her forward with ease. Then more stars light up around her, and she laughs. In a strange way, she knows that each newly lit star means that one of the deceased on earth has found their way home. One of the stars is her mother's new home. And Emma's mother, Eva, lives on another. It feels so right that Andrea sobs with relief. That's how it is. So simple. So easy.

#

Ogden skillfully steers the truck towards the bridge to the outskirts of northern Remerton. The air is high and clear. It stings in the lungs with every breath. The night before, the temperature had gone below freezing, Annemarie said, who harvested the very last of her plants the week before. Emma had climbed the old apple trees for three days in a row and picked the ones that had not yet fallen.

Ogden politely asked for an apple pie for dessert when they returned from Remerton. This partially melted the ice between him and Annemarie, and she kissed him before admonishing them both to be careful.

Annemarie wanted them to bring Zantana with them, but Ogden objected, claiming that the German Shepherd was much more useful guarding the camp. The ice between Annemarie and Ogden nearly formed between them again, but then Annemarie looked at Emma and her clearly visible scar on her cheek and nodded silently.

"Now we're crossing the bridge. Keep your eyes open," Ogden says and looks encouragingly at Andrea in the rearview mirror. She sits in the narrow back seat with Azir. Lou-Lou rides in the passenger seat. Magnus, and two of the newer young men who have found their way to Ogden's camp, are on the flatbed.

They drive over the bridge without any incidents. Andrea can really feel the sighs of relief radiating from the others. They always worry when they pass a place where the escape routes are limited.

"What kind of weapon should I have then, Ogden?" Andrea leans forward and raises her voice so Ogden can hear her.

"I think you should have a lighter weapon, or maybe two, we'll see what's available. We'll see if we can find a harness that we can modify for your baseball bat. Plus, space for extra ammunition. If you're going hunting with the hunting rifle, you carry it in your hands, so I think it's enough if the harness and a possible belt can hold one or two pistols and the baseball bat."

Andrea holds Theo's baseball bat. She inspects it every day so the small screws that hold the metal bands that form a grid pattern on the bat don't rust and ruin the wood. The autograph is still clearly visible in one of the squares. Every time Andrea oils the metal bands, she gives the bat a little furniture polish that Annemarie has given her from the cleaning cabinet. The bat must last until she finds Theo so he can get it back. Then Ogden has promised that he will remove the metal bands and fill the screw holes with something that will make them invisible.

"Almost there," Ogden says and steers towards northern Kungälv. When they have driven through half of the industrial area, he slows down. In front of them stood about ten concrete barriers that effectively blocked the road.

"What the hell?" Ogden scratches his head. "This smells fishy."

They are all immediately on high alert.

"We can probably push a few aside, Ogden," says Magnus, who has jumped down on the ground and is now leaning on the truck while looking around.

"It's enough to move one on either side. On the right, I think. It looks like that would be easier," Ogden points. "Then I can drive past the rest, using the sidewalk."

"Should we really go in when those who are active here so clearly want to keep us out?" Magnus looks doubtful as he studies the concrete barriers.

"That makes our raid even more important," Ogden maintains calmly. "Take the others and push aside at least two of the blocks. Then we'll see if it's enough."

Magnus and the two younger men from the flatbed struggle for a good while to move the large concrete obstacles. The uneven asphalt makes it difficult as it is almost impossible for them to just push them aside. Red in the face with their veins bulging along their temples and on their necks, they finally manage to heave two of the concrete barriers far enough aside for the truck to pass.

Back on the flatbed, they sit, panting heavily before drinking the water they have with them. Ogden drives at a good speed along the deserted streets. Andrea knows why. It's harder to hit a moving target. A fast-moving target makes it almost impossible.

"Third street to the right over there," Lou-Lou says. She is sitting with a map in her lap. Andrea thinks with some melancholy about how easy it was when all you needed was to set the phone to the correct address and follow the voice instructions from the GPS function. Now they are back to the times when collecting local maps could be as important as food. Ogden always claims that you can't have too many maps, even if it's over the same area. "Things can go up in flames. You never know."

Ogden turns right according to the instructions. "Look for a fairly inconspicuous building. It doesn't exactly have a sign saying, ‘weapons for sale.’" He leans forward over the steering wheel and looks around. "We have our new friend Carl to thank for this tip. He was a member of a gun club before."

"Why isn't he here clearing the way?" Lou-Lou asks.

"It would certainly have been easier," Ogden says and slows down. "But you know the rules. We don't take new members on missions before we get to know them properly. I'm actually thinking of extending the trial period to four months, maybe even six months, even, if you in the core group agree."

"I agree," says Andrea. She is usually the most suspicious of the new ones, she knows that. It’s because of what happened last Christmas. Hardly rocket science. Or maybe she's just a genuinely suspicious person nowadays.

"Thought so." Ogden winks at her in the rearview mirror. Then he brakes. "Maybe this is it? Does it match Carl's marking on the map, Lou-Lou?"

"Yes, actually." Lou-Lou follows the road on the map with a finger. "It looks perfect, actually."

"Then we'll take a look. Andy, bang on the window." Ogden waits until Andrea has made a fist and thumped the narrow window toward the flatbed. The men in the back grab their weapons, raise them to their eyes, and aim in different directions. Only then does Ogden turn into the parking lot next to the gray, sheet metal-clad building. "Okay, my friends. Be careful. If I come home without any of you, Annemarie will skin me alive."

"Same goes for you," says Azim and opens the car door. “I won’t be the one to tell your wife you so much as sprained an ankle, old man.” He checks the surroundings through the window, and Andrea does the same on her side. She doesn't have a firearm yet, but she has her baseball bat ready and knows what damage it can do if she needs to engage in close combat.

Lou-Lou's task is to guard the truck as it is invaluable to them. She, Janne, and Ogden have mounted corrugated metal on all sides of it to make it as impenetrable and bulletproof as possible. It would take them a long time to redo the same with another truck, if this vehicle fell into the wrong hands. As soon as the others have left the truck, Andrea hears Lou-Lou engage the central locking. Even though Lou-Lou is fairly safe inside the car, they still need to hurry.

They rush towards the building's door where a small discreet sign tells them they have come to the right place. The door is locked, and there are clear signs of forced entry along the frame. Maybe they are too late, but Andrea doesn't think so. Why would anyone lock up behind them if they had emptied the place of weapons? With the help of four crowbars, the men break it open. Andrea half expects an alarm to start wailing, but electricity has long been a thing of the past. In a well-rehearsed formation, those who are armed with guns or rifles enter the premises. Azim stays just inside the doorway. He has a strong, small pair of binoculars with which he scans up and down the street. Ogden has planned this in detail.

The premises are filled with weapons, boxes of ammunition, bulletproof vests, gas masks, filters, helmets, crossbows, bows and arrows, and more. It doesn't look like the people who tried to break in before have been very successful as everything looks undisturbed.

"No one’s been here," says Ogden "Not as it looks, anyway. Come on, Andy. Over here is what you need. The rest of you start loading what we need onto the carts over there. We'll get out of here as fast as hell." Ogden doesn't wait for an answer but hurries towards the counter where weapons are stored behind plexiglass. Without hesitation, he pries them off with the crowbar and takes down a few handguns for Andrea. "Feel them. I'll help Magnus pull down weapons in the meantime."

Andrea lifts the nearest pistol, weighs it in her hand. It feels too big and heavy. She quickly goes through the pistols, one by one, and finally stands with two different ones that both suit her. "These seem okay, Ogden."

Ogden doesn't turn around. "Good. We'll evaluate them at home later. Gun belts and harnesses are over there, I think. Go grab a few of each. As many as you can carry."

They run back and forth through the large, well-stocked store, gathering a considerable supply of what's available. When no one is in sight outside, Azim helps with the carrying, while also scanning up and down the street.

"Believe it or not, but I found keys in there that fit the door. We'll lock up again in case we need to come back," Ogden holds up a large key ring. "There's a chance that those who failed to open the door before won't manage it next time either."

"Isn't the frame broken then?" Azim asks.

"No, not badly. We got it open because whoever locked it hadn't used the key for the heavy bolts you can pull across. We'll lock those, then it doesn't matter that we damaged part of the door," Ogden locks up as he speaks.

It's when they're on their way back to the truck that it happens. Four motorcycle-riding individuals come as if from nowhere. Andrea runs towards the car while Lou-Lou unlocks the central locking from inside and throws the door open.

"Get in the car!" Lou-Lou turns the ignition and steps on the gas. "Hurry! They're coming."

Ogden pushes Andrea into the back seat. "Get down on the floor, Andy!"

Andrea hears how stressed he is, but his hands are steady as he lifts the rifle he brought with him. Andrea grabs her baseball bat, which she had previously reluctantly put down in the back of the car. Azim and Magnus squeeze in next to Andrea, who grimaces when Magnus accidentally steps on her fingers, but says nothing. She hears the new guys jump onto the flatbed and hopes they have enough room to lie down. Maybe bullets can go right through the sides of the flatbed after all, but still.

She peers forward between the backrests in front of her. Ogden has rolled down the window a bit and is now leaning to the side with the rifle barrel outside the window. "Drive, Lou-Lou. If they come straight at us, run them over. Whatever you do, no sudden steering movements. If you skid, the guys in the back can be thrown out."

Andrea thinks that they could even roll the tall vehicle if things go wrong. She grips the baseball bat tightly, but in this situation, she doesn't have much use for it.

Lou-Lou drives the truck along the street. She sobs quietly but steers safely, and Andrea can guess when they pass the concrete barriers because the car lurches a little extra.

"They're getting closer, Ogden," Lou-Lou says. "I can't drive much faster than this."

"You're doing fine. Just keep going like this." Ogden shifts position in the passenger seat and aims back at the motorcyclists. He fires two shots and quickly reloads. "Those two were warning shots. I hope they understand that. Next time, I'll shoot to hit." His voice is cold.

This is not the Ogden who worries about Andrea and Emma, or the Ogden who loves his wife. This is a warrior, Andrea thinks. This is what they've been training for, for months. Not just to be able to shoot, hit, and fight, but to be able to temporarily cool their blood and not be overtaken by panic. They have also trained to be able to injure and kill those who pose a threat to the growing community in the Hudskills.

"One's coming up on my side," Lou-Lou screams and swerves. "Why aren't the guys in the back shooting?"

"Damn if I know," Ogden growls.

A bang is heard, but it's not a gunshot. The bang is felt on the floor where Andrea is lying. She raises her head and peeks back through the small window in the back wall of the truck, and she sees to her horror that a helmeted person is clinging to the flatbed with a pistol in their hand.

"Someone jumped onto the bed," Andrea shouts and sits up. She looks around and gasps for breath. "He must have been sitting on the bumper. We have to help them back there."

"We can't stop," Ogden says with a growl. He has also turned around. "Get down on the floor, girl!"

Andrea refuses to hide when her comrades in the back are in danger. And what's to say that the person in motorcycle gear won't shoot through the window at them after shooting the guys back there? Andrea stands up and feels the sunroof. It slides open easily. She then quickly climbs onto the backrest. She feels two hands grab her hips, and she thinks it's Ogden who intends to pull her down again, but instead, it's Azim who pushes her up. "Remember he has a helmet, Andy," Azim says grimly. "Don't hit him in the head, but on the neck or arms."

"Okay." Andrea slides smoothly up through the sunroof and gasps against the strong draft. Lou-Lou’s driving at least 50 miles per hour on narrow roads back towards the bridge, which makes it wobbly. Andrea grabs the roof rack with her left hand and lifts the baseball bat as she has practiced countless times. The person in motorcycle gear is also holding on tightly with one hand and aiming at the pale young men who are pressing themselves back into the front right corner of the truck flatbed.

Andrea doesn't hesitate. The helmeted person hasn’t seen her yet. His field of vision is limited by the helmet. She lets the baseball bat fall with full force and land on the stranger's left upper arm.

A dull scream comes from the helmet, and then he falls to the side. Andrea is quite sure it's a man she's dealing with. She lifts the baseball bat again, and again it falls with controlled force through the air and strikes diagonally across the man's collarbone and onto his neck. Andrea thinks she hears a nasty crack and swallows hard.

The man stares at her where he has fallen halfway on his back. Then he lifts the pistol as if in slow motion. Andrea recoils, but too late. An intense pain spreads across her entire upper body, and she falls headlong backward.

Now I'm dying, Andy thinks. Half of her is filled with panic, but the other half accepts that she will soon be reunited with her mother.

As everything suddenly goes black, she sees a row of faces shimmering on the inside of her eyelids. Mom. Theo. Emma. Ogden. She thinks she hears Ogden’s voice roar her name, but she doesn’t care as darkness takes her.