I jerk awake, as always. Sometimes I get flashbacks from when I was twelve and thirteen—how Mom had to nag for me to roll out of bed and hit the shower before school. During the weekends I could sleep in until eleven am, and even longer sometimes. After the birds, I wake up, nearly convulsing, my pulse raising way above a hundred, and listen for footfalls, rattling chains, or strange voices. This morning is no exception, but instead of what I fear the most, there’s an arm around my waist and someone else’s body warms my back.

My brain is slower than usual. I don’t remember where I am until I’ve turned my head and studied the ceiling for a moment. Yes. Right. My room is under the stairs. Then my conscience starts showing me fragmented images from yesterday, that eventually morph into real memories. I’m sharing a bed with Miranda.

Cautiously, I turn my head back over my shoulder. 

“Good morning,” Miranda says huskily. I see her faintly in the early morning light.

“Hm. Good morning.” Rigid and my voice catching, I try to sound as if the situation isn’t entirely surreal. “How long have you been awake?”

“An hour.” Miranda gets up on her elbow, and now I can see her more clearly. Her hair is tousled, and she has a few lines on her cheek from folds in the pillowcase. Her eyes, normally so sharp, give a soft and very different expression. Miranda pulls her fingers through her hair and looks close to embarrassed. This makes me feel better—I’m not the only one who’s trying to find the right words. 

“You should have woken me up.” I’m flustered and I’m not used to that. Then a thought hits me. If she’s been awake for an hour, why hasn’t she simply gotten out of bed? Unless…unless she wanted to stay here with me.

“You were sound asleep. I didn’t have the heart to.” Miranda smiles and looks a little less awkward. “To be honest, I didn’t want to.”

“Did I disturb you?” I know I have nightmares often. Now it’s my turn to be utterly embarrassed. It’s one thing to share a bed, but something else to display your weaknesses and not even knowing it. We’re still lying close together in the center of the bed, and I neither dare, nor do I want to, move. Like a coward, I leave it up to Miranda to maneuver us out of this situation.

“Not at all,” Miranda says, answering my question. “We all suffer from nightmares from time to time. It’s only natural after all we’ve been through. I slept better than in a long time. It was unexpected.” Miranda moves back an inch or two. “What do you dream about? Do you remember?”

“Sometimes,” I murmur and turn toward her. “I dream of Mom. Of how I rolled her into a carpet and put her on the balcony after she died. And of Theo. But the dreams about Theo aren’t bad, normally. For the most part, I find him, and he’s still six years old, and hasn’t changed at all. Those are good dreams.”

“And then the nightmare is when you wake up and you realize that it wasn’t true,” Miranda says gently.

I can’t fathom how she understands this so quickly. It’s amazing, and it’s intimidating, at the same time. She appears to see straight through me at times, whether she is being understanding or calculating. “Yes,” I say quietly. “Exactly that.”

Miranda runs her fingers through my hair now. “So soft.” She hums under her breath, and then her index finger caresses my temple and follows the curve of my cheek. “And you’re stunningly beautiful.” Just like last night, she runs her thumb along my bottom lip, but this time, she repeats it several times before she dips her head and kisses me. 

I can’t help but whimper against her lips, and when I feel the tip of her tongue against my lips, caressing them, I part my lips, my need to taste her again undeniably.

Her tongue is in my mouth again. I reciprocate and this time, my arms go around her neck and I pull her close with such force, she lands on top of me. We’re both in sweats, but the intimacy is still like nothing I’ve ever felt. Our legs are intertwined, and the way she’s pressed against me—and I against her—ignites me even more now that I’m not exhausted beyond words like I was last night.

“Shh. Darling. We’re fine.” Miranda pulls back, but not more than I can feel her lips against mine as she speaks. “Slow down, Andrea.” 

I don’t know what she means. To let go of her, have her disappear out the door, and leave me here cold, is suddenly unthinkable. It scares me and I don’t know how to handle all this rampaging arousal. I whimper and shake my head. “Don’t let go,” I manage throatily. 

“Shh. Listen.” Miranda kisses me softly. “People have begun to stir already. We have to get up, as much as I loathe letting go of you. Because I do.” She buries her face against my neck. “I should get up right this moment, but I have to catch my breath. You have a way of setting me ablaze.”

I do? I find I can breathe easier, and hold her with tenderness, rather than panic, and I ease us over on our sides again. “I’m sorry. I freaked out. Not very sexy or romantic.” I press my lips to her forehead.

“Oh, trust me,” Miranda said, her voice muted against my skin. “You weren’t the only one that were reluctant to let go.” She strokes my back. “I think we’re both overwhelmed.”

Yes, that or, in my case, strangely awakened. Will this mean that I’ll crave the physical closeness to Miranda from now on? I can’t imagine I wouldn’t. I struggle for something to say that can help me regroup. I need something to say that will keep me from rolling her onto her back and claiming her lips again.

“When, exactly, are you going to help me go north?” I ask.

Miranda flinches and I know I’ve startled her with my change of topic. She remains rigid for a moment and then she slowly, almost methodically, relaxes her body. “I can’t say exactly when. We have to move a lot of people from the church to this area and set them up. That means shipping a lot of goods as well. It’ll take a while under the current circumstances.”

“I can’t wait indefinitely.” As usual, I’m afraid of disappointment, of being tricked, which has been the norm…until lately. I tremble again, but for very different reasons. I’m trying to keep my temper in check, remembering the techniques I learned at fourteen years old.

“Hey. Listen to me,” Miranda says again. She places her hand on my hip and rocks me gently. “We’re going up north to look for information about your brother. I gave my promise, and I wasn’t lying. In fact, I’ve given it some more thought in a grander scale. If these farmers up north do keep a workforce there against their will, it could be in all of our interest to look into that situation. As I see it, we have one chance to take the ones in charge by surprise. If we do that the right way, we can get access to potential paperwork, if that exists, and also the opportunity to interview those who work for them.” Miranda strokes my back and her hand slips in under my sweatshirt, and I’m not sure if she notices, as her laser focus is on getting me to understand. Her hand stops just short of my shoulder blade. “What do you think?”

I’m floored, that’s what I think. Miranda’s taken my relatively simple plan to find out more about Theo—and hopefully finding him—and now she’s running with it. “But…” I grow quiet, and my mind is racing. If we do it her way, I might actually get more intel than I would have otherwise. Access to records, if there are any, and to witnesses among their current workforce. Someone might remember him. I blink away tears as I don’t want to start something I can’t stop. “It’s an ambitious plan. But if that’s your intention, it won’t be enough to bring that small group of people you talked about earlier.”

“Of course not. This type of operation needs to be planned with minimal margin for error. The way I see it, I need to bring at least fifteen people. We’ll use two of the trucks and horses. I’m going to develop the plan in my mind later. You will have a key role in this. I see you as the perfect person to show up at the largest far, selling horses.”

“Horses?” I blink. I used to go horseback riding with the twins, so I know my way around the big animals, but I was never obsessed by it, like Hadya and Ayesha. The thought of the twins pulls at me, and I’m afraid I’ll fall into that foxhole. I can’t let that happen. Not now. Getting out of it again takes so much effort. Too much, even.

“You look tough enough to fend for yourself,” Miranda continues. “If you were to shop up with four fine horses, the farmers will be interested. Not just in the horses, but in a young woman who looks strong and able to work hard. They’ll try to assimilate you.”

“I’d have Zoya to help keep me safe.” Against my will, I’m impressed at how Miranda’s mind works. Thinking outside the box, as Mom used to say about those who went against the current.

“And we’ll be there. Closer than any farmer can imagine and hidden until you give us the sign. We’ll plan all this in great detail. I’m going to send two scouts to reconnoiter, already today. They’re experts in covert operations.”

Relieved that Miranda isn’t going to go back on her word, I melt into the mattress next to her. How can it suddenly feel so good to lounge around and not be on high alert from the moment you wake up? Perhaps it has something to do with the faint morning light plays with Miranda’s features, making her look ethereal for a brief moment. Maybe this sensation was more common before everything changed?

“You’re beautiful.” I say it out loud before I have time to edit my works and then of course my cheeks burn again. Great. I want to hide in my pillow, but that would be even weirder.

Miranda smiles and caresses my right eyebrow with gentle fingers. “Thank you.” Her finger slides along the scar that has divided my eyebrow in half.

The answer hurts, but I just can’t blow her question off when she looks at me so seriously and with such interest. “Some fools broke through the barrier to the north one night, eight years ago. They took two new girls. We found them too late. I fought three of them. They landed a few proper blows and one of them had a machete. Ogden says I should be grateful they didn’t kill me. We trained with and against that type of weapon daily after that.”

“Eight years ago? When you were eighteen?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to the kidnappers?” Miranda puts her hand against my cheek and appears to probe my soul when she asks the hard questions, which she does as if she has all the right in the world to do so.

“We took care of them, Ogden, Magnus, and I.” I know I sound brusque and standoffish. It has no effect on Miranda, who still keeps her gaze locked on me. What is she thinking? That I’m some sort of freak that had lives on my conscience already at such a young age? Or does empathize with a girl who grew up in a matter of weeks and be ready to deal with a situation that she wasn’t prepared for? I don’t know, but Miranda doesn’t look judgmental at all. In fact, she brushes my lips with her, and I nearly start to cry at how sweet the feeling is.

Zoya whimpers at the foot of the bed, and then growls discreetly. Miranda flinches and I snatch my Glock from under the pillow with my right hand. The door yanks open. The fact that the person outside doesn’t knock tells me all I need to know. 

Trouble.

“The Zodiacs are on the move, girls. Better get up!” Ogden is serious and I can tell from his demeanor that this is one of the scruple free gangs’ more coordinated maneuvers. “We have to place more guards along the transport route through the Hudskills for you to get the civilians over from the church.” 

The Zodiacs has kept a low profile for ages, but now that they’re suddenly on the move, I have to conclude that it’s because of the military movements. This has to be a power play.

Ogden peers intently at us. “I’ll see you outside by the morning fire.” He means the big campfire that Emma starts in the morning outside in the yard, no matter the weather, for people to gather around before the workday begins. Having coffee substitute or Emma’s birch tree tea around the fire is tradition and something that shows the camaraderie in Ogden’s collective.

I’m already out of the sweats and dressed, and when I turn to Miranda, I see her lace up her combat boots. I wonder how I’m going to phrase what I want to say without sounding pretentious. “Don’t let yourself get fooled by their scruffy appearance. The Zodiacs. They’re more skilled with their weapons of choice than you might think.”

“I wouldn’t dream of underestimating anyone.” Miranda passes me in the small space. Reaching the doorway, she turns to look at me for a few moments that seems to stretch into full minutes. Then she nods briefly and walks to join Ogden and the others.

I remain a little longer, my hand on Zoya’s head, and try to understand what just happened. We’re on our way into a proper battle with the Zodiacs and the only thing coursing through my brain is that I have made out with the beautiful colonel. With Miranda, who held me and showed me such unexpected tenderness and such passion. And right now, she looked at me as if I was a riddle she was trying to figure out.

I pat Zoya again and walk to the door. “Come on, girl. Time to earn our keep.” That was one of Annmarie’s favorite sayings. Emma and I use them often. Ogden’s favorite sayings are more colorful and slightly equivocal, as the man is the king of double entendres sometimes. We used to giggle about that, and the way Annemarie would look at the sky in exasperation.

So much is at stake, and I don’t have time to ponder why Miranda makes my stomach clench and increase my breathing frequency.

I grab a mug and walk outside to the campfire. It’s as big as usual. The firewood is stacked in an oval shaped formation, like a smaller bonfire. Around the fire, some of the guards has assisted Emma in placing rocks in a ring around it. The movable rain protection keeps us dry and boasts a chimney to keep the smoke away from us as much as possible.

Across from me, Miranda has a quiet conversation going on with Ogden. He nods concurringly several times, and I let them talk without my butting in. I sip Emma’s the that rouses the spirits and warms me at the same time. Then I close my eyes and try not to listen to the conversations around the fire.

“Are you sleeping on your feet? That’s a new one.” Emma manages to sneak up on me, which she realizes and smiles teasingly.

“Thinking on my feet, rather,” I say and glare at her, but she just laughs. Then she grows serious. “You’re going to be careful, right?” These soldiers don’t know what ugly tricks the Zodiacs get up to when they fight. Especially if they get cornered. You have to tell your colonel, or she’s walk straight into their traps with her entire unit.”

Emma peers worriedly over at Miranda and Ogden. “Perhaps Ogden is explaining.”

“I’ve mentioned it and so is Ogden. I’m sure of it. I’ll be with them and make sure the civilians get here unharmed. You’ll be very busy, and not only with processing the meat you expect from the hunters today. The new arrivals will need guidance, and if anyone knows how it’s done around here, it’s you. You’ll be the one they come to, and that means you have to put them to work.”

Emma seems to consider this. Then she nods once. “Remember when you, Annemarie, and I drew up plans for ow to put up all the tents that Ogden’s collected over the years?”

“Sure I do.” I had to smile now when Emma was in action-modes. 

“Well, he’s gathered more since then, and I kept track of them. If people need tents with stoves, sleeping bags, mattresses, or cots, we can help.”

“I’ll just get my binder and show Ogden and your colonel before you start ferrying over people. If they like the plans, I can get a jump start on it.”

“You’re the smartest person here. That’s what I’ve always said,” I say and hug Emma with my free arm. Sipping the birch tree tea, I nod. “Go fetch the binders, and I’ll go over and prepare them.”

Emma hurries back into the house again. I saunter over to ‘my colonel’ and Ogden. They stand close to the fire, and I can see from Miranda’s expression that she’s not entirely pleased. 

“What’s up?” I pour the rest of the now tepid tea on the ground and put my mug on a tree stub. 

“Your colonel here seems to think the unit she’s brought with her so far can take on the Zodiacs once and for all.” Ogden speaks through his teeth, which is a rare occurrence. This shows his utter frustration. I still glower at him for his choice of words. ‘My colonel’…is it contagious? 

“Ogden is right,” I say calmly. “You should listen to him and place twice as many guards than you normally would.” I kick the two of my boots into the ground and study the little hole I create. “You’ll need at least two, preferably three, guards at each spot. The Zodiacs are experts at guerilla warfare. Your soldiers need to be prepared for everything. They’ll come from any direction, even from above.”

“You forget that my soldiers are trained in a completely different way—”

“And you forget that we’re the local experts.” I stop creating a new hole in the ground and ignore that my cheeks are still warm because of all the ‘your colonel’ comments. Right now, now I feel like swatting ‘my colonel’ over her beautiful, white-blond head, and make her listen. “If you don’t want your soldiers massacred, and see your civilian people get abducted to any of the Zodiac camps outside the Hudskills…” I shrug, but I can tell she’s listening now. Can it be that she’s more inclined to take my word for it, rather than Ogden, our old patriarch’s?

“Dakota!”? Miranda barely raises her voice, but Dakota hears her and leaves the group of Ogden’s people that he’s been talking to and joins us. “We’re going have to triple the guards with each check point. According to our hosts, these intruders are not your garden variety thugs.”

“Understood, Colonel.”

Loud, upset voices ring out and two of the young people, Glenn and Stephanie, come running. 

“Andy! Ogden! We heard the alarm go off on the north side,” Glenn says, gasping between his words. “The Zodiacs.”

“And out on the water, we saw kayaks. They’re attacking from the lake!” Stephanie points to the east.

I attach my bat in the quick lock behind my shoulder and pull my right Glock as I run toward the shore that is located two hundred yards from the camp. I can’t hear any alarms from this side yet but can easily make out several fast kayaks and possibly canoes approaching. How the hell do the Zodiacs think this might work? I count at least eight kayaks. Some are for one person, some are for two.

“What the hell?” Dakota shows up on my other side. “What are they thinking? We can see them a mile away. It’s only for our best sharpshooters to pick them off, one by one.”

“Yes, this isn’t right. They should attack in the dark, if they’re using kayaks.” Andy looks up at Dakota while my brain words at high velocity. Then it hits me. “Shit. A diversion.”

“Exactly,” Mirand says behind us. “They’re undeniably clever. Ogden and I have reinforced the guards along the outer boarder. The Zodiacs will face more resistance than they had in mind.”

“I’ll remain here on the shore,” Dakota says. “Send to men to assist me, if you can spare them, Colonel. If not, I’ll take care of these motherfuckers myself.”

“No heroic exaggerations now, Major,” Miranda says dryly. 

“I’m sending down Privates Green and Norton along with additional ammunition. Andrea? With me.”

I don’t object to the clear order even if I’m not one of her soldiers. You just don’t do that when things are going down. Ogden and I have often discussed the meaning of the chain of command. He even fetched books on the subjects on one of his scavenging hunts. Now I run next to Mirand when we hurry back to Ogden’s and Emma’s house.

“Emma sent a message for you. She’s in position, whatever she means by that.” She stops at the first corner of the house. 

“She has a vantage point in the attic where she’s well protected by thick plantings from all directions. Ogden has turned my sister into an expert sniper. She can hit anything with her sniper rifle.”

“MK-22?”

“MK-24. She’s awesome at it.”

“I believe you.” Miranda regards the yard in front of the house, and I join, standing right behind her as we both scan the closest area. The yard is suspiciously empty. Where people milled bout and talked around the fire, only Ogden remains behind one of the columns that hold up the rain roof over the fire.

“Any moments?” Miranda speaks quietly and scans the tree line to the left. “Not as much as a squirrel,” Ogden mutters. “But I know they’re there.”

“The squirrels,” I ask. Ogden and I have a way to joke, but I can tell Miranda rolling her eyes at my lame joke. At least she realizes that I was trying to be funny. 

“Not the one.” Ogden smiles but doesn’t remove his binoculars from his eyes.

Then weapon fire erupts from the shore and that’s when hell breaks loose from the forest. A shower of bullets slams into the logs of the house. We throw ourselves down behind the fire that’s still burning with two feet tall flames. Ogden moans quietly.

“Ogden! Are you hit?” I grab ahold of him and pull his frail body toward me.

“No dam nit. It’s my back. Sciatic nerve.”

“The front door is ajar,” Miranda says. “If you help Ogden inside, I’ll cover you.”

“I’ll stay here and cover you.” Ogden rumbles the words, using the tone when he’s not making a suggestion, but an order. “You’ve got to go to the shower house. There’s a good vantage point with protection to start shooting toward the south. I think that’s where the attack will come from.”

“Miranda gives Ogden a sharp glance, but then nods. She’ on her way to take the lead, but something makes me move even faster and she has to settle for crouching behind me. 

“Ready?” Ogden hisses. 

“Ready.” I keep my Glock pointing toward the ground and start running without looking back. Behind me, I hear the soft footfalls as Miranda runs through the grass behind me. Ogden’s assault rifle rattles behind us and still I expect to be hit by a bullet at any given time. A completely new fear runs like ice throughout every vein in my body. What if Miranda gets shot? I know Zoya is next to me, moving with me like one, and I’m used to fearing for her safety, but this new thought that I would never be the same if Miranda was lost to me is even worse. I clench my teeth until I taste iron, and push all those unproductive thoughts away, as they’ll end up making me lose focus if I don’t.

We close in on the shower house and threw ourselves behind the corner at the same time. I trip and land against the wall with a thud. Miranda pressed tightly against me, her hand like a vice around my arm.

“Andrea! Are you hit?” Her voice is husky and raw. Answer me!”

“I’m okay. I just tripped.” I turn around and peer over her head toward the tree line. Our people haven’t let anyone through, but I see bodies on the ground just inside of the wire system.

“Most of the shots come from the south. We have to get around to be able to see anything. I’ll go low, okay?”

Miranda’s eyes are opaque when she gives a brief nod. Then we move as one against the south side of the shower house, pressing hard against the log wall. My pulse is elevated but steady. I have trained and been in this situation so many times and I know what has to be done. More lives will be taken today on both sides of the wires. 

What is different this time around is that I have one more person apart from Ogden and Emma, who simply cannot die. 

My colonel.

Miranda.