It’s Christmas Eve. Ogden and Annemarie say it is, and Andrea is trying to please them by faking some cheer. It’s mostly for Emma’s sake. Perhaps they’ll manage to create something that at least looks like the holidays before the birds.

There are even presents under the tree Ogden dragged home from the woods. Emma instead on making ornaments using on kinds of things, and Andrea joined in the ‘fun,’ but all she could see was the shadow of a little missing boy where Theo should have been sitting. She remembers how he would wake her up in the early hours on Christmas Day, eager for her to see that Santa had come in the night. She doubts Emma ever will believe in Santa again after everything that’s happened, but at least she found some joy in doing arts and crafts for the holidays. 

Now they’re sitting on the floor around the tree, Emma, and her, looking at the tiny LED lights that are battery operated. Ogden has set up a generator in the shed for the fridge and freezer, but he says that anything they can use batteries for is good, to not waste diesel. They have unanimously agreed on handing out the Christmas presents tonight, as daytime in Ogden’s collective is always a workday, no matter if it’s the holidays or not. 

“I wonder if my favorite Christmas shows were on TV today,” Emma says and leans against Andrea. “I mean, if everything is automatic on TV. Children’s shows and new, you know?”

“Probably not.” Magnus, one of the newer members that Ogden has accepted, and who lives in one of the smaller shacks with his girlfriend, takes Emma’s pondering seriously. “The last broadcast I saw before the power went out for good in my apartment, was information from the authorities on a loop.”

“What did they say then? The authorities?” Andrea asks. She hasn’t talked to Magnus very much yet since all her strength goes into practicing martial arts, building muscle tone, and learning how to drive the motorcycle. Now she gets curious despite everything, and she can see that Magnus exchanges a glance with Ogden.

“Perhaps not a topic to discuss on Christmas Eve?”  Magnus says, clearly trying to evade answering.

“But I want to know. Never mind which day it is!” Andrea feels how her anger, who is always just below her skin, begins to fill her veins.

“Andy.” Ogden is sitting in his favorite armchair behind her and puts a hand on her shoulder. She wants to shake it off and keep insisting, but there is something about Ogden that makes it impossible. He is just as warm and kind as he can be strict, when it’s called for. And this is a good thing, or Andrea’s fury would run straight over him and Annemarie.

“Go on and tell us, Magnus,” Annemarie says and surprises Andrea completely. That she, who has worked for days to create some holiday feeling, and especially for Emma, but also for her, Andrea realizes, allows that they talk about reality to mean a lot. Perhaps she hasn’t heard what Magnus has to tell them either?

“Okay.” Magnus takes his girlfriend’s hand. Her name is Lou-Lou, and she’s even less talkative than Andrea at their weekly meetings. Ogden calls them their family meetings, and they’re held each Friday evening. Magnus looks around the room. “It was that guy who read it…I don’t remember his name…Anyway. He confirmed that the bird virus quickly went global. We had already figure that out, didn’t we, Lou-Lou?”

Lou-Lou nodes and leans her head against Magnus’s shoulder. “Yes.”

“They’d found out that the virus started in Hongkong and spread to all corners of the world.” Magnus strokes Lou-Lou’s short, red hair. She closes her eyes and Andrea wonders what she inside her, since she trembles and hides her face against his neck.

“Sounds logical.” Ogden taps his pipe, empties it, and fills it with new tobacco. Then he sees Annemarie’s pointed look and puts it into his chest pocket. “Hongkong is…was, a great hub for commerce and travelling.”

“And what else?” Andrea asks.

Magnus kisses the top of Lou-Lou’s head and then turns to Andrea. “The government only consisted of fifteen people, and the guy on TV sounded as if he was trying to maintain some sort of government, but I think it must have been wishful thinking. Or denial. Who knows? Anyway, the last morbidity count for the US was between 98 to 99 %. He said that he had given orders to all military units to do what they could to secure the borders, recruit new personnel where it was needed, and not allow looting or violence.” Magnus looks at Lou-Lou with sorrow in his eyes. “Right?”

Lou-Lou sobs once but doesn’t cry. Annemarie goes rigid, but Andrea doesn’t understand at first. Then she realizes that something has happened to Lou-Lou once law and order couldn’t be upheld any longer. Someone hurt her.

“Sweetheart,” Annemarie murmurs and Magnus looks gratefully at her. Perhaps he’s hoping that Annemarie might be able to reach Lou-Lou and help her.

“Something else?” Andrea pressures Magnus, and strangely enough, it makes him look relieved. 

“The guy on TV, the politician, cried toward the end of the broadcast. He said he never thought humanity would come to its end like this, despite all the warning signs. I don’t know what he meant by that,” Magnus says and frowns. “What warning signs? Did you hear about any contagion before this one struck like a bomb and everyone seemed to get ill at the same time?” He shakes his head. “I wasn’t much for following the news a lot, but I did occasionally, and I never heard of any warnings.”

“There were rumors about Vietnam and South Korea,” Ogden says and other grownups nod in agreement. “A professor at Yale university meant that there were signs of a certain strain of the bird flu having mutated and becoming contagious between people. A while after, it turned out to be much worse. It was airborne.”

“Yes? It comes from the birds. Of course it’s airborne,” Emma says and frowns as she raises her hands in a ‘what else’ kind of gesture.

Annemarie guffaws and then she starts laughing. Despite the seriousness of it all, she’s laughing until she has to wipe her eyes. Ogden begins to laugh too, and eventually Andrea has to giggle.

“What?” Emma looks affronted.

“You’re a clever little munchkin, you are.” Ogden leans forward and ruffles her hair. “You’re entirely right.”

After they stop laughing, Andrea doesn’t feel like interrogating Magnus for more information. They have all relaxed some after laughing together.

“How about having out some Christmas presents?” Annemarie asks after blowing her nose. “Andy? Why don’t you pick one and see who it’s for?” She looks pointedly at Emma.

“Sure,” Andrea says and crawls closer to the tree. There she picks one that has a label saying ‘Emma.’ “Hey, this is for you!” She hands it to Emma who looks wide-eyed at the package that is wrapped in paper with stars on, all hand drawn by Annemarie.

Emma tears the paper of a set of knitted mittens. She calls out from sheer joy and puts them on. “Did you knit the?” Emma asks Annemarie, and her chin trembles, despite the gift being a humble, and in the old days, kind of boring.

“I have, sweetheart.” Annemarie smiles broadly. “Now you don’t have to freeze your little fingers and keep pulling your sleeves down over your hands like you’ve done since November.”

“Thank you.” Emma pulls off the red mittens and pats them tenderly. “They’re really nice.”

Annemarie looks pleased and nods to Andrea again. “And now one for you, Andy.”

She really doesn’t want mittens but promises herself to smile and thank Annemarie like Emma just did to not make light of her gift. Perhaps she will luck out? There’s a chance that Annemarie is starting to understand Andrea a little more since she’s stayed with them for six months. Andrea sees a flat, mid-size present with her name on it.

Suddenly nervous, she tries to focus on the pretty paper and the bow made from yarn looking similar to Emma’s mittens. She feels around the edges and realizes it must be a book. Yet another book, as Ogden already has provided her with so much non-fiction books that it becomes yet another chore to read them. Slowly she opens her present, but that only incites Emma to help her tear the paper off. 

“Another book?” Emma says, sounding disappointed. “Doesn’t Andy get mittens too?” She looks at Annemarie with a slight frown.

“Andy already has her motorcycle gloves that we found in a shop in Remerton. I don’t think she’s into colorful, homemade mittens.” Annemarie winks at Andrea who feel her inside melt another degree or two. Then she looks at the book she’s holding. At first, she doesn’t understand. It’s not a book about motorcycles or weapons of any kind. Turning it over, she reads the back, and now she gets it. The book is written by a Kung-Fu master and covers everything about the sport to how she’s reached her success by meditating, thus reaching a sense of equilibrium and strength within.

“Thank you,” Emma whispers and forgets all about being exuberant about her gift like Emma. Instead, she quietly hugs the book to her chest and thinks this is the next step to becoming the unbeatable warrior she needs to be to be able to fend for herself while looking for Theo.

“Annemarie and I scavenged at several libraries and bookstores before we found something that we knew would be perfect for you.” Ogden sticks his unlit pipe in his mouth and speaks around it.

Andrea flinches. “In the center of Remerton?” She can hardly breathe but forces herself to draw even, deep breaths. “Did you go all the way into the center of the city to find a book for me?”

“Yup.” Ogden looks pleased at first, but then he seems to notice something about her demeanor suggesting her panic, because he frowns. “It was important to find the right one, Andy.”

“Not important enough to risk your lives for my sake. The book’s amazing. Fantastic, even. But…but no book in the world is worth risking so much for. Emma can’t lose you.” Andrea trembles. “Emma can’t lose you. And—I—I can’t lose you either. Don’t you understand?”

Annemarie’s eyes well up with tear and Andrea fears she might think she’s declining the present. But then Annemarie sits down on floor next to Andrea and Emma. Emma often sits on Annemarie’s lap, but she’s not doing that now, merely glances between Annemarie and Andrea. 

Andrea keeps the book in her arms and slowly falls to the side with her hand on Annemarie’s lap. Annemarie is wearing a knee-long and now she pulls it forward and wraps it around Andrea and strokes her back.

“Emma? You’re so good at reading nowadays,” Annemarie says. “Grab any of the Christmas presents and see whom it’s for, please.”

“What about Andy?” Emma sounds afraid.

“Andy needs a little rest. We’ll just sit her together. Com one. Find a gift. See if you can find one for Ogden with his name on it.”

“What’s his real name then?” 

Andrea smiles inwardly and the grownups laugh.

“Arnie,” Annemarie says and chuckles.

“Right. I forgot.” Emma scoots closer to the tree and continues handing out presents. It’s as if the bird virus never happened. The tree smells wonderful, the fireplace is crackling, there are nuts and fruit on the coffee table, and people praise their gifts and laughs. It’s easy to imagine that Mom is just out in the kitchen or in the bathroom. Or that Theo is celebrating with his dad and will be home tomorrow to celebrate with them. Andrea wonders if Emma is as caught up in the past for a moment as she is. It can’t be wrong to think back to happier times.

It's when she feels the warmest and safest in Annmarie’s arms when it happens. Andrea has her eyes closed one moment and feels her hand against her back, and then someone tears the door open. It’s as if mayhem goes from zero to a hundred in a millisecond. Frigid air runs along the floor and makes her shudder.

Andrea reacts instinctively. She’s on her feet and gripping her baseball before she realizes it. Why haven’t they heard the can alarm?

A group of men steps inside and they don’t care about closing the door behind them. The first one is tall and burly, with a long beard, and properly bundled up against the cold, even if his clothes look tattered.

“Who are you? What do you want?” Ogden roars and suddenly he has a gun in his hand. Andrea isn’t the only one who’s been training.

“We want food. Fuel. Women, if you have any.” The man who entered first is holding a sawed-off shotgun. Andrea has seen enough movies to recognize it. The man’s eyes fall upon Annemarie, and then Emma, but lands firmly on Andrea. Instead of getting scared, she feels ready to act and deal with this neanderthal. She takes a step closer to him, her bat raised in a silent challenge.

“Andy. No!” Annemarie puts a hand on Andrea’s arm, but she shakes it off.

She continues to close in on him and his entre focus is now on her. She assumes he sees her as some sort of prey, or worse, a woman to take with him.

“What do you know, honey. Looks like you’re volunteering,” The man says and pushes his hoody off. He has long, straggly hair and a disgusting beard. When he pulls back his lip in a feral grin, Andrea sees that his hasn’t been careful with his teeth either. That would come back to bite him, for sure, but if she got into range, his dental issues would be the last of his problems.”

“Back off,” Ogden growls. “Drop your weapons and leave. You have no business being here.”

“Shut up. Old man. We’re fucking starving—”

“We’ll provide you with food to take with you, but that’s all.” Ogden points his gun at the man. “You remain here, drop your weapons, and my wife will package up some food for you. If you don’t, I’ll drop you where you stand.”

Something in Ogden’s self-assured, harsh voice seem to rattle the leader with the shotgun. Andrea studies him closely, careful to remain between Emma and the men.

“We want booze. Haven’t had a drop of it in weeks.” Another man, think and emaciated, speaks slowly and with a slur. He is standing close to the kitchen and Annamarie has to pass him if she’s going to be able to make a package for them. Andrea doesn’t want anyone belonging to her new, extended family close to these pigs at all.

“I’ll walk with Annemari to the kitchen.” She glares at the skinny guy by the kitchen door. “We’re taking Emma with us.” Andrea glances quickly at Ogden, who nods slowly and regards her with a strange expression in his eyes.

“Don’t let anyone get close,” he says quietly.

“Not a chance.” Gripping the bat hard with her right hand, and Emma’s hand in her left, they walk with Annemarie toward the kitchen. Annemarie passes the thin man who has a strange look as he watches them. Tense now, Andrea does everything she can to stay soft and nimble. She’s prepared for anything at all, but soon she’ll have Emma in the kitchen, away from the men. She wraps her free arm around Emma’s shoulders and is just about to guide her through the kitchen door when the skinny man grabs her. Emma gives an ear-piercing wail and scratches at him. She’s in full panic mode. He pulls a knife from his belt and presses it against Emma’s neck. Emma goes rigid and stares at Andrea with terror in her eyes.

“Let her go!” Andrea raises her baseball bat.

“Tell the bitch in the kitchen that she packs up all the food and booze or I’ll cut the kid’s throat.” The thin man slurs his words badly and Andrea doesn’t know if it’s because of drugs or starvation. Lack of food can make people lose their minds.

“We have no booze,” Ogden says huskily. “Just homemade mulled wine. We have tobacco in case you want, but then you have to let go of the girl! Can’t you tell she’s afraid?”

“She’s right to be. I haven’t had a drink in days and if I don’t get one now, I might as well kill you all.” The man’s eyes are wild now. Unpredictable and dangerous, he stands next to the kitchen door with a knife against the youngest among them. Emma has stopped crying and stands frozen, the knife pressed so hard at her skin that Andrea can’t fathom that she’s not bleeding.

“Take the wine and tobacco, Peter,” the man with the shotgun says. “This was not the goal with this raid. We’re not child killers.” He shifts his aim to the man holding Emma. “Let her go.”

A maniacal, mean grin spreads on Peter’s face. Slowly he pulls the knife along Emma’s cheek. Emma screams as blood streams down her face and colors her clothes a dark red. Andrea acts instinctively as if the man is one of the scarecrows Ogden arranged for her, and let her bat describe a three-quarter circle before it makes contact with the man’s temple with a nasty sound. He lets go of Emma and falls to the floor. It’s as if time has stopped. Emma stops screaming and stands there, immobilized and bleeding. Her bulging eyes fill up with tears that run down her face and blends with the blood. 

Annemarie has covered her mouth with both hand sand unlike Emma’s, she has her eyes closed hard. Ogden and Magnus seize the moment to disarm the rest of the intruders. 

“Damn…” The man who held the shotgun before, stares at his fallen cohort in crime as if he can’t believe his eyes. “Is he dead?”

“Oh, God.” Annemarie opens her eyes, yanks a tea towel from a kitchen chair behind her and presses it against Emma’s cheek as she lifts her up. “Child. Oh, child.”

“He is dead,” Ogden says after feeling the man’s neck. “What did you expect to happen? You break in, frightens all of us, especially the children—” Ogden coughs and Andrea sees how hard he clings to his gun. Ogden walks over to the door and closes it. “You’ll get your food package because we don’t let anyone starve if we can help it. Then you’re remove him.” He points to the floor. “We’re not going to bury him for you in the middle of winter. That’s on you. Bury him or leave him for the foxes. I don’t care.”

“You’re a strange one.” The stranger looks around him and doesn’t seem to get much support from his entourage. Then he glares at Andrea. “He didn’t deserve to die.”

“He shouldn’t have cut Emma,” Andrea answers, her voice like metal in her mouth. She’s still furious and full of the raw strength that flowed through her veins. She wraps her arms around Annemarie and Emma, for support, and for comfort.

The men get their package from a pale and shocked Lou-Lou. Annemarie and Andrea don’t let go of Emma who is lying far too silently in their arms. It’s as if she’s close her mind to endure what just happened.

When the men have left with the food and their dead friend, Ogden leave the cottage together with several others to make sure that the raiders aren’t coming back with reinforcements.

In the kitchen, Annemarie places Emma on the big table in the kitchen. She folds a terrycloth towel and puts it under her head. Then she examines the long cut carefully. It runs from her temple to the corner of her mouth. Andrea stands on the other side of the table and holds Emma’s hand firmly in hers. Emma is still not talking and doesn’t even whimper when Annemarie and one of the other women begin cleaning the wound.

“It needs stitches. The knife didn’t penetrate the cheek, but it’s deep enough.” Annemarie strokes Emma’s long, blond hair from her forehead. “Sweetheart? I’m going to fetch the first aid box and then I’ll be back. Andrea is here with you until I come back, all right? Lou-Lou? Please put more firewood in the stove and boil more water.”

Lollo nods and looks relieved to have something to do.

Emma turns her face against Andrea. This is the last straw and Andrea’s knees give in, and she falls to the floor, only supported by the bloody baseball bat. She unsuccessfully tries for a new breath. Ogden’s voice is swaying above her when he tries to take her in his arms. She can’t answer and she can’t move. Whatever he says and no matter how he rationalizes what just took place, it doesn’t change a thing. Nothing can change the fact that Andrea has taken a life. She’s fourteen years old and she’s killed a human being. 

She looks at Emma with dry, stringing eyes. She looks so small and defenseless where she’s lying on the kitchen table. For the first time since they arrived in this place, she doubts that she’s the best to keep Emma safe and be there to see her grow up. Andrea thinks back to her own words earlier. Emma and she can’t make it without Ogden and the large family he’s creating.

Andrea knows Ogden is right, that the world is no longer even remotely as it used to be. But not even in this crazy existence can you allow a little innocent girl to be brought up and cared for by a fourteen-year-old murderer.