Miranda and Ogden sit once again by the fire, later in the evening. I prefer to keep Emma company in the kitchen. I even agree to monitor a few of the pots on the wood stove. The AGA stove was Annmarie’s pride and joy while she was still alive. Ogden and his friends dragged it from Remerton, using an old tractor. That was before some fool blew up the bridge. Annemarie thought for a long time that it was morally wrong, like a theft, of Ogden to bring it for her. An AGA stove used to be super expensive, and it wasn’t until Emma, who was ten years old when the stove was installed, said that it could save the lives of all of us if we had a harsh winter. 

That argument worked better than Ogden’s which was more about what Annemarie deserved. After it turned out, next to Emma and Ogden, Annemarie loved that AGA stove most of all. I knew I came in fourth place. I also knew that Annemarie found it harder to like me, compared to Emma. Perhaps it was because I was trained to hunt and to know when to fight or flee—and how. 

Annemarie’s lips used to pinch her lips when Ogden sat me down with a book and we studied martial arts and tactics. When Ogden saw her displeased expression, he became, if not angry exactly, but he grew rigid, and his eyes became icy in that way I quickly learned to recognize. It meant he wasn’t happy.

“Don’t you want the girl to be able to define herself? She’s as good as made for learning these things.” He motioned toward the book. “She’s strong and damn smart. If she doesn’t learn how to fend for herself, how is she supposed to learn to live in this world? We, who are older, and by that, I mean everyone over thirty-five, who haven’t been taught this when we were young, have to be cunning and know how to shoot. But Andrea, and later, Emma, will learn to maneuver on their own. You have no right to criticize me, and especially them, for that. They won’t be able to make a life for themselves if they’re brought up the way kids were before the birds. Barbie dolls, cell phones, pink bedspreads…all of that has come to a stop, and abruptly so, all for their chance of survival in the long run.”

“I can’t have my Barbie anymore?” A trembling little voice asked, and we turned around, all three of us, and saw Emma, who looked at us with big, shocked eyes.

Annmarie gave Ogden an exasperated look but then blew him a kiss when he looked sheepishly at my little sister-by-choice. “Of course, you can, my angel,” Annemarie said and hugged Emma. “Ogden just took that as an example. All the toys that you brought are yours and nobody else’s. You can play with your Barbie doll as much as you like. I can help you make you sow some new clothes, for her.”

“Oh, great!” Emma brightened. “I want her to have cool, tough clothes like Andy. And a baseball bat.” She looked eagerly at Annemarie who had the good sense to not pinch her lips at least.

“There you go. Another tough girl,” Ogden said and laughed, and perhaps it was just a figment of my imagination, but I thought he looked sad, despite the broad smile.

“What in the world are you thinking about?” Emma asks me now and puts a large oven tray of potato gratin into the oven. “You look far away.”

“Your Barbie,” I answer automatically, and Emma stares at me, astonished.

“My Barbie? What?” She blinks. “I haven’t seen her around in ages. Ten years or so.”

“But you still have it?”

She grins. “You bet. Last I saw her, she wore leather clothes and had a baseball bat that Ogden carved for her. He even carved in the autograph, like on yours. 

“It’s not—”

“Yours. I know. It’s Theo’s bat.” She speaks softly and caresses my cheek. “I’ve missed you. You’re along out there far too much, Andy.” Emma’s eyes have turned to that warm blue that I remember from when she was little. Now, she’s a twenty-two-year-old woman of this era, not a frightened child. She had to grow up even faster than I did.

“I like being on my own a lot. I do miss you. I do. And Theo…and Mom.”

“Same. It’s really strange, but Theo, even in his absence, has been such a big part of my life, that I miss him. Does that sound crazy?” She takes my hand and wraps my arm around her waist.

“Not at all.” I hug her, happy that she’s forgiven me for my long absence this time too. She always does, eventually, but perhaps she’ll have enough one day and will ask me to stay away from the Hudskills. “You help me keep Theo’s memory clear and vivid. You always wanted to know every little minute detail about him when you were little. And when you borrowed his backpack, you were so careful with it so he wouldn’t get upset when I fetched him home.”

“He felt as if he was mine a little bit too. Not like a brother, I mean, but…as one of the family.” Emma leans her head against my shoulder, but before she hides her face, I see the sweet beauty she radiates when she talks about the family. If Emma considers you as part of her family, you’re a lucky individual. She’s completely loyal, and that’s a rare trait these days.

I hear footfalls in the living room and see Miranda get up. He nods briefly at Ogden and crosses the floor to reach us. “I’m going to have a meeting with Dakoata and our courier. We have to send messages continuously to the church, so they can plan for troop movements and transportation of civilians. In the meantime, we’re going to create rough plans of the area.”

“And Ogden has agreed to all this, just like that?” Emma asks through clenched teeth. “I find that hard to believe.”

“He has. Ogden is a wise man with a lot of ideas for the future. When I told him about our journey here from Oregon, he realized what a tactical advantage this area is. Not just for the East Coast, but for what used to be the US. I know that old political borders hardly apply anymore.”

Emma’s eyes are opaque, like monochrome marbles, when she studies Miranda. “That may be, but the Hudskills, or at least this part of it, belongs to Ogden. He has protected us, cleared fields, worked in the forest, and given us a future. You can’t just come here and…take over.” Tears well up in her eyes, something I can witness and keep quiet. I still have my arm around her shoulders, and I pull her closer.

“Nobody is stealing anything,” Miranda speaks calmly, but also unapologetically. I know by now that this is not her style. Miranda hasn’t reached her rank in the military and survived the aftermath of the bird flu by being soft or placating—or full of apologies for each decision. “We will offer far more than we need from you here. That said, Ogden and his reputation for being honest and fair, is invaluable in our initial establishing phase. Now when we have him, and thus his people, on our side—and their word that we’re not just a new kind of warlord here to exploit the inhabitant of the Hudskills, things are going to move along a lot smoother.”

Emma glances at Ogden who is listening without adding anything. He nods slowly at her and waves her over. Emma pulls free of me and hurries across the floor.

“Daughter,” he says, something he’s never called me, which used to hurt my feelings, but I understand better these days, the enormous difference in Emma’s personality and mine. I don’t let anyone get close enough for them to even contemplate thinking of me as their daughter. Emma’s the only one who sees me as a sister.

“Listen to the colonel,” Ogden continues. “You trust me, don’t you? You know I don’t fool easily just because I’ve become an old geezer. Besides, Andy isn’t one to be tricked either. The colonel is of the old school, and her unit consists mostly of real soldiers and officers from before the birds. They’re not trigger-happy upstarts who happened upon a storage room full of military weapons. These people are the closest thing I’ve seen of law and order in fifteen years.”

“They scare me,” Emma mutters. “I can’t help it. We’re fine the way we are.”

“We’re not, Emma.” I have to make her understand. If Emma sees me as a traitor, an outsider, I’m going to lose my little family—the only one I have. “You know how dangerous it is to walk even a few yards outside the warning system. With the colonel’s plans in place, we will have safe passages to travel through the Hudskills, and onward. This is our chance.” My chance, selfishly speaking. My chance to find Theo…or at least more credible information. To travel north with Miranda and her soldiers would put more weight behind my questions meant for the farmers. I knew they would shoot me on sight if I showed up alone. That or ‘hire’ me.

That, and also the fact that it will bring protection to a lot of other people, is a bonus, but inside me, a thirteen-year-old girl screams for her little brother and I’m tormented every day, and some nights, by the promise I made to my dying mother. It’s the only thing that counts.

One look at Emma makes me change that last thought immediately. It’s not just Theo that matters. Emma is just as important, and she needs to know that. “I want you to get the chance together with other young people to live in a safer world. Fine someone to love. Have a family. Listen to Ogden. Please.”

“Are you sure, Andy?” Emma looks up from Ogden’s shoulder. Her eyes are no longer like marbles. “Really sure?”

I turn to Miranda who stands a few steps behind me. It’s as if she understands that this is as important for her negotiations as the conversation she just had with Ogden. “How about it, Colonel? Can I tell Emma, my little sister, that what you suggest and are about to create here in the Hudskills is the right thing to do? Have I done the right thing in showing you and your soldiers to this place—or did I sign our death warrants?”

Miranda slowly closes the distance between us and looks me in the eye without blinking. “I swear it. You’ve done the right thing and with your help and Ogden’s support, we’ll be able to secure enough people's lives here to create a society where we can exist in peace and not in this chaotic anarchy we struggle with now. Overall, there will once again be democratic elections and justice.”

I study her closely and see equal parts determination and exhaustion in her eyes. It has been a long day, and we’re hungry and tired. “Okay,” I say. “That’s decided then.” I turn to Emma. “Food done soon? I’m famished.”

Emma stares at me, and then she begins to laugh. “You never change. Good that something stays the same.” She walks over to the AGA and checks the oven. “It’ll be done in twenty minutes, or thereabout. I have enough for another five-six people. Do you have enough rations for your people?” She looks at Miranda.

“We do, thank you.” Miranda heads for the door. “I’m going to arrange for the courier.”

“Make sure you’re back here in half an hour at the latest, or the food will get cold,” Emma says sharply. “Bring that big guy, Dakota, and four more.”

Miranda stops and turns around, and then she smiles. It transforms her face, and the harsh beauty she otherwise exudes, turns into a softer, for me entirely new, expression. “Understood.” She salutes Emma and walks out the door.

Emma looks from the door to me and then over at Ogden. “She seems all right, after all, I think.”

“Is that so?” Sometimes, I wonder how Emma’s brain works, as she can be both the smartest in the room and the most stubborn mule imaginable. 

“Yes. She didn’t take it for granted that she was going to be invited to share our food. She was fully prepared to rough it with whatever military rations they brought, along with her people.”

I nod and then kiss Emma’s forehead, something I do when she’s being brilliant. “You’re the one who’s entirely all right, girl.” I nudge her. “Want help setting the rest of the table?”

“Yes.” Emma looks pleased as she moves within what she regards as her domains. Ogden leans back in his chair and watches the fire. He looks tired, but it’s as he said, he’s an old geezer these days. The idea that he can’t live forever buzzes in my mind, but I shove it even further back. 

Such thoughts are forbidden.